Senses
As Amána told me her story, what stood out was how we can study for our perfect career, but if we don’t find the right environment or continue to evolve, that career can become just a job.
What led you to England and your interest in psychotherapy?
Amána. I was born in apartheid South Africa, which meant I grew up in a complicated environment. This, coupled with a troubled home life, meant that my formative years were challenging. So, when I was scouted at the age of 15 by an Italian modelling agency, I seized the opportunity to get away from it all. From 16, I began travelling to places like Paris, Milan, Seoul, and Tokyo during school holidays.
At 19, I decided to leave modelling and, four years later, completed a marketing degree at a South African university. Following this, I bought a one-way ticket to London in search of a better future, as so many South Africans did then.
I arrived at Heathrow on the 23rd of December without a job or place to live. That same day I found a small studio flat in London and, a few days later, a job waiting tables in Piccadilly Circus. I had to be quick, as the Rand I brought with me wasn’t going to get me very far against the much stronger pound.
In January, I found a receptionist role and started looking for a job related to my degree. After a fair amount of hustle, I finally received a job offer from an advertising agency in Soho. I was headhunted by Yahoo! within a year of that and was happy to accept the offer. Over the next five years, I progressed from an account manager to a product manager, responsible for Europe, the Middle East and Africa, allowing me to travel worldwide. Although my career was going well, I didn’t feel personally satisfied because everything I did was revenue driven, with no sense of a ‘higher cause’. I also found the corporate environment taxing and stressful; unless you are politically minded and highly resilient, it can quickly take its toll. I also got married during this period, a marriage that sadly only lasted a couple of years. It was then that everything in my life began to feel like it had been snowballing out of my control. I felt as though I ended up in a place in my life that I didn’t want to be and that I hadn’t stopped to think or consider my choices. It has since taught me how an accumulation of challenging circumstances, when you have little support, can easily lead you to decisions that are not aligned with what you really want for your life.
A high-pressure unfulfilling job and a short-lived marriage ended in what felt like a nervous breakdown and depression. Then, someone recommended the Hoffman Process, a self-development program that breaks you down and builds you back up in seven days. Upon reflection, I believe it was too much too quick, but it was the catalyst for everything that followed. After Hoffman, I knew it was time to begin processing and working through past traumas. That’s when I started my therapeutic journey.
I always wanted to be a therapist, but at the time, I didn’t feel confident enough to pursue it. However, two years into therapy, I decided to retrain and start again.
Fortunately, Yahoo! was excellent in supporting me to work and study. I started night school and then part-time study at the University of London and, after five years, completed an MSc in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy. During this period, I also met my current partner, and we have since had two daughters; I gave birth to my second daughter a week before my final dissertation deadline. So, you could say a lot happened in those ten years!
After graduation, I started a private practice in Bloomsbury, London and worked as a counsellor at Kings College. However, I eventually decided to take a break from working to focus on my daughters until they both reached school age. During this time, I lost a lot of professional confidence and even questioned whether I had the resilience to be a therapist. Many mothers struggle with this transition, and for a long time, I felt lost and lacked a sense of identity as motherhood took over.
So how did you make it to the South East? Is it here that’s allowed you to work again?
Amána. Yes, it changed everything. We began renting a farmhouse near Rye for weekends and holidays in October 2019, we both love being in nature, and this arrangement made that possible. The following March, just days before the first lockdown, we were fortunate to escape London’s confines and relocate to the farmhouse. It wasn’t long after this that I knew I couldn’t return to living in a city. I started immersing myself in nature to cope with the constraints of lockdown and the intensity of home-schooling. We were fortunate to have access to an extensive area of private land, so I went on long walks every day and noticed the positive effect this had on my mental health and general well-being. It felt like returning to an old familiar place within myself.
As time passed, it was as though layers of held tensions that had built up after years of living in a city were shedding bit by bit. One day my partner showed me an article from The Guardian about outdoor therapy. I realised there was potential for me to work again, but in an environment that supported me.
I went to the Peak District for specialist training, which was a fantastic experience. I was with a great group of people and left feeling so much more confident and was reminded why I love what I do and that I was pretty good at it. I hope that doesn’t sound arrogant, but for a long time, I had lost this inner confidence, and to have found it again was revitalising, not only to be able to consider working again but because I believed it to be my true calling.
Of course, years of training support the work, but I believe I have the ability to genuinely relate and empathise with people because of everything that has transpired in my life. I invested ten years in my personal therapy and would have more if necessary. That might sound like a long time, but I believe the work never ends. This also means that I have ‘walked the walk’; I know first-hand how difficult self-examination can be, and I hope my clients believe me when I tell them how brave they are. Also, as a South African, I can be more straight-talking than is the British cultural norm. I see this as an asset, getting to the crux in a time-sensitive manner, which a client recently described as my ‘superpower’.
So, when I came home, I couldn’t wait to start. I began seeing clients outside while we walked and talked. At that time, people were offering counselling remotely, but when I stare at a screen, I find it difficult to remain focused. I need that face-to-face connection. I have worked this way ever since, and I can see how my clients also benefit from working therapeutically outdoors. There is something unique about walking and talking in a neutral setting, side by side. The feedback I’ve had is that it feels less intimidating and has a freeing effect compared to sitting across from a therapist inside a room.
“I’m grateful to have found what I need to do my work, but I think we can all benefit from deepening our relationship with nature. We are all nature, and it is an illusion to think that we are separate from it.”
Can you tell us about your Tea Ceremonies?
Amána. The Cha Dao Tea Ceremony is something I love to do, and I don’t see it as a job. The tea ceremony is not only something that supports me, but I very much enjoy sharing it with others. Some of the events I host are free or donation based because I want them to be as accessible and inclusive as possible. Alternative practices and events often appear exclusive and can be expensive, or people feel intimidated that they might not be “spiritual enough”. The tea ceremony is simple, all we really do is sit and drink tea together in silence.
The ceremony is conducted with reverence, ritual, meaning, and complete mindfulness, but as an attendee, you can simply sit back and be in the moment. You don’t even need to be an experienced meditator to take part. In fact, many people who find meditation difficult enjoy the ceremony because it is so sensorial, which makes it easier to focus the mind on the present. This is because when the mind begins to wonder, which it will, you can bring it back to presence by concentrating on the taste of the tea, the texture of the tea bowl in your hands, the smell of the incense, the sound of the water being poured, noticing the details of the flowers within the chabana arrangement etc. These are simple details, but they become sacred and special when paid attention to and within this setting.
“When you take a step back, be still and silent, and just let the moment unfold, interesting things begin to happen.”
How did you start doing the Cha Dao Tea Ceremonies?
Amána. I initially found it online, and it immediately resonated with me. I have practised meditation for many years and am also a qualified mindfulness meditation teacher. So, for me, the tea ceremony was like meditation brought to life. I then found Lera, who at the time was the only person hosting Cha Dao Tea Ceremonies in London. Her ceremonies were beautiful and inspired me to begin my own journey. I think that was around 2017.
Our teacher Wu De is a Tea Monk living in Taiwan. I have learnt much from his teachings alongside my tea practice and fellow tea practitioners. We are part of a far-reaching global tea community, continuing this ancient lineage. Traditionally tea monks would serve tea next to the road to passers-by, which speaks of its down-to-earth nature and inclusivity. In the summer, I park up on the beach or in Alexander Park, and anyone can come and sit for tea. I have witnessed many interesting things from these events, I had one lady gift me a beautiful plant, the only thing she had with her, which I planted in my garden, and it always makes me think of her, although I have no idea who she is. People are given the opportunity to engage differently when money is taken out of the equation and something special is given with no expectation.
Hopefully, more people will come to understand what a Cha Dao Tea Ceremony is and be more open to coming to one of my events or joining me for tea when they see me on a beach or in a park. It seems all my work has evolved to be part of the natural environment, which makes me incredibly grateful to live in the East Sussex countryside. I feel like I have come home, although I am not from here at all. I guess nature welcomes everyone.
How does the process start between yourself, the therapist, and somebody interested in working with you?
Amána. Usually, when someone reaches out, I arrange a time to call them for an initial chat. This is an opportunity for them to tell me a little more about what is going on for them. I may ask a few questions and discuss how I work. If we think we could work together, I will arrange an in-person session. This allows them to meet me and experience the space before deciding whether they want to begin ongoing therapy. I always ask people to think about the environment they feel most comfortable in, e.g., woodland, ocean, or open landscape. Often people have never considered the effect different environments may have on them. I also ask them to think about how they might feel about working in harsher weather conditions, it’s lovely on a sunny day, but it’s not always like that. It is interesting how changeable weather affects the work and what it stirs up for people.
A session is 60 minutes. I tend to work on an open-ended long-term basis, but people can stop whenever they want to. One of the biggest challenges I have is to help people understand that sustainable change takes time and that the work cannot be rushed. Pacing is crucial so as not to overwhelm or re-traumatise clients. It is more like a slow unfolding rather than a quick fix or a tick box system. I don’t set tasks or give homework, sessions are very organic and free-flowing, and we can talk about whatever the client brings. I also do some indoor work from the Wellington Centre in Hastings, but most of my work remains outdoors.
I am also starting a three year Somatic Experiencing Training (SE) in March; this is a body-based therapy model for healing trauma. Somatic Experiencing is the life’s work of Dr Peter Levine, one of the world’s leading trauma treatment experts. I received two years of SE myself, and it had a transformational effect on me. Talking therapy can easily re-traumatise people who have experienced trauma, and SE is a way to process it without the need to relive the experience verbally. So I am very excited to include this as part of my offering, not only because of its profound effect on me.
“Moving down to East Sussex, I’m grateful that I found what I need, but I’m confident that is what we all need, because we’re nature; we’re part of nature.”
Amána van Staden - Human Nature
Psychodynamic Psychotherapist, MSc, MBACP
Cha Dao Tea Meditation & Mindfulness Meditation Teacher
info@amanahumannature.co.uk
www.amanahumannature.co.uk
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